And you can't let it go because there's still a part of you that wants his approval. You know you'll never get it, but the thought that you could if you were only somehow better...well.

[It's a common enough story, and a logical enough guess. He doesn't have to be projecting to read between the lines, even if what's between those lines is blurry and he has to make a reasoned hypothesis about it instead of a conclusion.]

Do you think becoming like him will somehow change his opinion of you?