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[jurisprudence]

« M. EDGEWORTH »

TEXT ✧ AUDIO ✧ VIDEO ✧ ACTION

MILES EDGEWORTH ✦ ACE ATTORNEY
RESIDENCE ✦ Residency
GEMBOND ✦ Emerald

"You are not a clown. You are the entire circus."

INFO ✧ PERMISSIONS ✧ KINKLIST ✧ EXTRA

Comments

voice; un: puchchar (time to assault alex with things when we have other plans)

[warpspammer]

Hey, Miles. You up for getting a drink at some point? People from my home are making things stupid and complicated.

voice;

[jurisprudence]

[holy shit it's that hot guy from the boardwalk, play it cool, miles, don't make an idiot out of yourself]

People in general do have a tendency to do that. I'm happy to try to be the exception to the rule — when and where can we meet?

voice;

[warpspammer]

[ Miles pls. ]

Not my people. Not usually.

[ Eugh, does he really want to lay claim to Ravus and Aranea? ]

There's a bar out in the Sapphire district that's pretty nice, can meet up anytime that's good for you?

[jurisprudence]

Oh, good, that's the district where I work. It'll be convenient to just drop in, if you don't mind my coming directly from.

[Almost the instant he says that, he wonders if he shouldn't have. Nyx has always met him dressed down, looking casual. Will it be an issue if he turns up...normally? Hm]

And no, before you ask, I don't work at a bar, nice or otherwise. So there'll be no charming coincidences in that respect.

[warpspammer]

No problem here.

[ It will be the opposite of a problem if Edgeworth turns up looking fancy. ]

Though, that definitely makes me want to ask how the hell you found a job already, but that's the kind of thing better asked over drinks?

[ An easy segue, after all. ]

[shootyourshot]

[It's another day at Starrocks, and Ashe basically has his morning routine down. He's used to waking up early, so he tends to some baked goods he prepares, and when it hits a certain hour he prepares something else: a very frightening drink for a very overworked man.

Cold brew coffee with four shots of espresso, along with an energy drink. Today, he's set it out for Edgeworth along with a slice of banana bread.

Right now, he feels calm. No temper tantrum yet, but he did kind of go off on that customer a few days ago. Fortunately, the rest of the staff aren't really holding him accountable for that.]

[jurisprudence]

[There are, of course, certain perks to being a regular at an establishment like this. There are downsides, too — like, for example, a higher propensity of incurring negative ramifications as a result of someone knowing the intricacies of your schedule — but let's be honest, it's been a solid couple of years since anybody shoved a body in the trunk of his car, so that was probably more of a fluke than something to actually plan for.

Still, he's been...edgy, lately. More short-tempered than usual. Easy enough to write off as stress from work, but still, he's heard of emeralds getting keyed up that way, among other things.

HERE'S HOPING NOBODY SETS OFF AN EARTHQUAKE TODAY.]

...Ah. Punctual as usual, thank you. What's the bread today?

[shootyourshot]

[With some effort, Ashe makes for a smile at Edgeworth. Usually, Ashe is bright and sunny, but it certainly looks like it's the kind of expression that is an empty gesture. Still, he's trying to be polite.]

Banana bread with chocolate chips. I hope that isn't a problem.

[jurisprudence]

I don't see why not. It merely needs to suffice, and banana bread with chocolate chips should manage that admirably.

[Okay, so it's not the most enthusiastic of reactions, but who do you think he is, Phoenix Wright? He's not about to do a dance over some banana bread.]

Put it on my tab as usual, then?

[shootyourshot]

[Now, normally, Ashe would just brush it off. Edgeworth is a bit abrasive, but that's the kind of personality he has. There isn't really anything wrong with it, and Ashe doesn't dwell.

Today is just a bad day for it. This week is just a bad week for it.

Ashe slams his fist down onto the counter, the granite cracking from the force of it.]

Wow, I'm sorry that it'll just do for you and that it's nothing exciting. Too basic for your tongue? Maybe you should get your breakfast somewhere else if you aren't even going to pay for it!

text; un: tulipe (misfire)

[mousquetaires]

Well, because you asked, I'll show you.
But you have to make sure it doesn't fall into the wrong hands, or I'll get into serious trouble...

[ There's an image attachment to this impromptu text message, labelled back to school.jpg. They may not make the Zima Academy school uniform in a size suited for smaller, four-legged friends...but that doesn't seem to have stopped Haru from working on this literal pet project, and the dog in the photograph happens to be a particularly good model, well-behaved and not particularly fussy despite the neckwear, or the tiny little backpack on her back...

Hey, wait a minute-- ]

What do you think? Ready for class?

[jurisprudence]

[Oh, a text from Miss Okumura. Hopefully everything's all right; he'd asked yesterday if she'd mind watching Pess a little longer than usual while he took care of some work at the office until late, and she'd been receptive enough to that. Could it be that there's some sort of problem?

...

SIGNS POINT TO YES.]

I wasn't aware that she'd enrolled, Miss Okumura. What slate of coursework will she be taking?

[mousquetaires]

[ "Miss Okumura?" That's a pretty distinctive form of address. As a matter of fact, just about the only person who calls her that is...

Oh.

Oh, dear. ]

Did I neglect to tell you the good news?
It's rather advanced coursework, you see. She qualified for an honors program, and I believe she even has her sights set on valedictorian...

But from my understanding, she has something of a ruff schedule?

[ Smooth it over, smooth it over-- ]

[jurisprudence]

Well, I would expect nothing less of Pess.

[There's a beat here before the typing indicator resumes again; one can almost imagine that it's the pause where someone clearing their throat would go, if this were voiced conversation.]

Just how long did it take you to put all that together, precisely?

[In other words: how long has this CONSPIRACY been going on behind his back]

[mousquetaires]

Recently, I've been starting to get back into sewing, just as a way of keeping my hands busy at home...
So I figured that some clothes for Pess wouldn't be a bad place to start.
I've worked on this one on-and-off over the past ten days or so?

Of course, I had no intention of taking her out in public like that.
But to her credit, she's quite a patient model...

text | un: skye | misfire......

[karintous]

Hypothetically speaking, how much sex do you think we'd need to have to get a basement laboratory?

[jurisprudence]

[JUMPIN' JUSTICE JOHN MARSHALL THIS SURE IS A TEXT HE JUST GOT]

Hypothetically speaking, I've never been one to mix business and pleasure in that manner, frankly.

[karintous]

[ Thirty minutes pass in which she faceplants into a table, screams internally, screams externally, and jumps up and paces around, not necessarily in that order. What is constant is that her face is burning and she wants to die. ]

Mr. Edgeworth, it is important to me that you know that I would never have sex with you.

that moment when you gotta go reup your paid because you need the right expressions that bad | 1/5

[jurisprudence]

[...?]

[jurisprudence]

[...!]

[jurisprudence]

[?!?!?!?!?!?!?!]

[jurisprudence]

[..............................................]

[jurisprudence]

Not even for a basement laboratory, Miss Skye?

i appreciate your dedication

[karintous]

[ The only blessing about this being in text format is that she can screech MR. EDGEWORTH out loud all she wants and still maintain a small shred of dignity on screen, even if the people around her are starting to give her wide berth. He must be teasing her?? Always so suave, that's him (in her rose-tinted view of the Edgeworth-shaped world). ]

You shouldn't tease a lady, Mr. Edgeworth!



Though of course, it would be a different matter if your life were on the line.

[ She is here to back a brother up at gunpoint. ]

it's still dec. 24 on my calendar ok

[karintous]

[ On Christmas Eve, Ema drops by Edgeworth's office to drop off a wrapped box topped by decidedly cute bow. It comes with tag which reads simply: "Merry Christmas, Mr. Edgeworth! —Ema ♥"

Inside is a fine leather satchel. It also contains a note: "I know you're more of a briefcase man, but I hope this comes in handy as a hands-free alternative. You never know when you'll need to put that famous pointer finger of yours to action!"

Tucked inside the bag is another, much smaller box containing a wine-colored pen. Lux but highly functional, or at least as functional as a pen can be in this highly technological world. Ema will at least hope it's good for a signature now and then. ]