jurisprudence | IC Inbox

I don't see why not. It merely needs to suffice, and banana bread with chocolate chips should manage that admirably.

[Okay, so it's not the most enthusiastic of reactions, but who do you think he is, Phoenix Wright? He's not about to do a dance over some banana bread.]

Put it on my tab as usual, then?

[Now, normally, Ashe would just brush it off. Edgeworth is a bit abrasive, but that's the kind of personality he has. There isn't really anything wrong with it, and Ashe doesn't dwell.

Today is just a bad day for it. This week is just a bad week for it.

Ashe slams his fist down onto the counter, the granite cracking from the force of it.]

Wow, I'm sorry that it'll just do for you and that it's nothing exciting. Too basic for your tongue? Maybe you should get your breakfast somewhere else if you aren't even going to pay for it!

[SUDDENLY, THOUGHTS OF FRANZISKA —

Except, uh. That's not just any ordinary fist-slam; if that had been the wood of a courtroom podium, it assuredly would've splintered the thing into kindling. As it is, the granite just cracked, and all of a sudden Edgeworth is — well, he doesn't get afraid, per se, but he's a lot more off-balance than he was a few seconds ago.]

I beg your pardon!

[He's just an unruly witness. Just like any other unruly witness. He's even behind a stand. He knows how to handle moments like this, it's fine.]

I wasn't aware that it was any of your business what I — of course I'm going to pay for it. That's the point of a tab.

No, a tab is like a debt! You leave it open indefinitely with an empty promise to pay what you owe.

Well, I got news for you! I'm sick of empty promises, Mr. Edgeworth! You aren't the first, and you won't be the last. "I promise to do better", "I just want another chance" -- wow, really, what lie is next, huh?!

I pay it monthly, actually.

[This is surreal. One minute it's all of Franziska's rage, the next it's the absurdity of a Maya Fey argument.]

But. As they say, evidence is everything. If it's your assertion that I'm lying, then show me some proof of it.

[ARE WE ABOUT TO GO TO THE MIND PALACE I MEAN MAYBE]

Everybody lies!

[Ah, no. That's such a Claude thing to say, isn't it? Just like that, suddenly, the anger diminishes, as if sucked away by the mere thought. It'd be so embarrassing if he could feel that right now.

Ashe lets out a sigh and rubs at his hand, then looks down at the cracked counter. Oops.]

Sorry about that. My emerald has been giving me some trouble lately.

...I thought so once, too.

[He stays still a moment, gauging something out, and then digs for his paycard and offers it out with two fingers in a manner that manages to be smooth but polite, as opposed to Karenish.]

Charge my tab to clear the balance. I don't suppose you're entitled to a break at this hour, but if you are, take it and walk with me.

...I don't really think that. But I guess...

[Ashe trails off, but he nods to Edgeworth, calmly charging the card before handing it back to the prosecutor.]

I think that it might be a good idea if I do. If it's no trouble to you.

It's less a matter of trouble and more I feel some semblance of responsibility. Your employer's insurance will pay for the damage to the countertop, by the way. If they seek to put you on the hook for the repairs, file a claim at the Courthouse, Department of Gembond Affairs.

[He pockets his card, then takes his hideous beverage and his banana bread, motioning for Ashe to come around from behind the counter.]

Come along.

Edited 2021-07-27 02:32 (UTC)

You're very good at what you do, aren't you?

[It's an observation, not meant to be a dig or anything. Still, Ashe does step out, nodding to one of his coworkers that he's slipping away for a moment. It's probably for the best; thankfully, the other baristas have been understandable this week since the isn't the only gembond affected.]

Undefeated, for a long time. I'm curious what it is you think I do, precisely.

[And out they go, Edgeworth leading the way but at least holding the door for Ashe while he follows along behind.]

You've seen me every morning for months now. Surely you've formed some conclusion.

I don't know exactly, of course, but...

[He nods his thanks and steps out the door.]

I assume you work in the government somehow. You always dress very nicely, and you have a strict schedule. You just mentioned evidence, and you brought up the courthouse.

A prosecutor, yes. At least, that was my title before I took employment at the Courthouse. Here, they're not precisely sure what to do with me, I think.

[He sips his coffee, nodding slightly when it hits his tongue. Just the way he wants it, as always.]

Regardless, the crux of my job is dispensing with lies in pursuit of the truth. Part of doing that is being able to tell when a person is hiding something.

[Another sip.]

Perhaps in your case, repressing something.

[A lawyer. Definitely a government job, one that Ashe would never have the mind for, but he does respect that.]

It almost feels like I've been doing the opposite of that for awhile. I don't like complaining needlessly, or burdening someone else with my problems.

[However, as the emerald does encourage him to tell the truth, he does get to it:]

There's a person from my world that's been making me miserable. Not necessarily on purpose I suppose, but it's still frustrating. I already have a difficult time thinking well of myself, and he's successfully made me feel worse.

And as a result, I guess I feel like I'm becoming paranoid, not unlike him, and I don't want that.

And you can't let it go because there's still a part of you that wants his approval. You know you'll never get it, but the thought that you could if you were only somehow better...well.

[It's a common enough story, and a logical enough guess. He doesn't have to be projecting to read between the lines, even if what's between those lines is blurry and he has to make a reasoned hypothesis about it instead of a conclusion.]

Do you think becoming like him will somehow change his opinion of you?

That's probably true. I tend to look for things I admire in the people I know. To him, he'd always been known as clever and a tactician. Smart. Certainly smarter than me.

[It's actually a pretty good deduction, even if Ashe has provided a bare bones version of what's happened.]

It might, but that's not the kind of person I'd want to be. Always distrusting of others and paranoid sounds unfulfilling. Besides, I can only imagine he'd have a worse opinion of me than he already does.

I had a mentor once, about whom I felt similarly. The same one who groomed in me that perspective of "everybody lies", as a matter of fact.

[He keeps his eyes carefully forward. He is being a little more candid than usual, but — well. That's being an emerald for you. An inclination toward honesty, sometimes at the worst of times.]

Let me ask you this. Do you think it's any better to be the opposite of this person who mistreats you?

[Oh. This is a personal thing that Edgeworth has just mentioned. Ashe looks at him, quiet for a moment, but... well, not much more feeling comes out than that.

But he'll feel more responsible for it later.]

I don't think being opposite is the answer. Obviously some people lie and have bad intentions, and it's good to be wary. But I think overreacting to others to the point of doing harm without cause is bad.

Good. I could tell you firsthand it won't do anything of the sort.

[Hmmm. The barista really is swinging between extremes, isn't he? Outbursts of irrational rage one minute, emotional near-catatonia the next.]

So. Have you considered what you'll do?

I don't really know. I'll probably just avoid him and swallow down the fact that most other people are more or less on friendly terms with him. There isn't much of a happy outcome, but it's better than giving him more of my time.

When you put it like that, your position sounds rather isolating.

Are you sure he's the only one making you miserable?

Everyone else hasn't really done anything maliciously. I simply feel left out of things, not because it's been directly on purpose.

I see. I'm afraid I'm no great fount of advice in that particular respect. I've always found myself left out of things mostly by choice, and only dragged into them through the incessant efforts of one particularly determined fool.

It's a bit more complex than that. Most of my friends are romantically involved in each other, so I'm kind of the odd one out. And they like to have sex with this guy.

[JUST BLUNTLY SPOKEN. He's going to be embarrassed later.]

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